look around, leaves are brown...

For the first time in many years, I am embracing the change of seasons. Typically, autumn has been a huge source of anxiety for me, probably because of returning to school after summer break paired with the unavoidable return of the cold. I am not particularly fond of winter, mainly because it is so cold and I find snow to be especially obnoxious. But this year I am trying to be more optimistic. I'm getting excited about seasonal recipes. I'm anticipating the holiday seasons (Halloween, Thanks Giving, Christmas, etc), and I'm trying to find ways to be excited about these annual events in order to distract me from the lack of warmth. I'm am looking forward to being able to stay warm under my blankets and not having to get up for work every morning. As the days go by, it's also fun to gradually reincorporate my sweater collection into my daily wardrobe.

I have a new found optimistic view on life. I've been unemployed for a month and it has proven to be the best unexpected change in recent years. Virtually everyone I've talked to has commented and agreed with that. Emma* had commented about her old job that there were certain aspects that she could not improve or change, and it basically came down to having to accept the faults and just work around it. I think that was a big problem at my job as well. Every workplace has its issues, but I feel I was aboard a sinking ship. It was supposed to be a school, but it wound up being a business. There was a lack of accountability all around. Some teachers did outstanding lessons and tried an eclectic approach to best help their students learn. At the same time, other teachers do basically nothing above the bare minimum, refusing the modify their teaching habits or explore new methods. It was very discouraging to see such inconsistency being overlooked, and even ignored. Its just unfair. Some people break the rules and are not reprimanded, there is no follow-through regarding consequences for some people, but others are constantly ostracized for challenging the issues they are presented with. It has become a very unsupportive environment. People who work there can be categorized into 3 groups: 1. Loyal to the company because they've been there for so long, 2. Waiting for something better to come along, or 3. Lack substantial skills needed to be a public school teacher. It's sad because at the end of the day, the people who are most greatly affected by these teachers are the students...students who are already at an incredible disadvantage because of their special needs, and aren't receiving the education they deserve. I'm not trying to bash the school, a lot of this has to do with their inability to offer a pay competitive with public school salaries (generally about $10-15,000 less), so they aren't able to be as particular about who they hire. Even in this economy, their applicants are lackluster. The people at the top need to be held accountable for their actions. It's a commonality for the director to flat out lie or at best, offer partial information regarding changes in the company, which leaves the staff with many unanswered questions and thus rumors begin to spread. While employed there, I felt as though the staff was considered to be stupid and unworthy of getting the full story or information. I'm glad I'm done with that aspect of my life. I can only go up from where I'm at. I look forward to all of the exciting changes my future holds.

*You'll notice I've updated my links with my very good friend, Emma's blog. She's much more interesting and informative than she gives herself credit for. Even if you don't know her, it's a solid read ;)