Vindicated

This morning I had to take a final in Sociology of Death. I've talked about this class and how people consistently came in excessively late. Well the professor has a rule that no one may come in and take the test after the first person has finished. So basically the class began at 9:30, at 9:35 all of the exams were passed out, by 9:50 people began to hand in their completed exams and so no one would be allowed to enter and take the exam (the FINAL exam) thereafter. Well, as I was walking out of the building I passed a girl who was ALWAYS late, if she even showed up to class, and she had not yet taken the exam. While it is unfortunate that she was too late to take the exam, my sympathy ends there. Why would you sign up for a 9:30 AM class if you plan on showing up at 10am every week? She came late all the time, and then was easily annoyed by the professor. This class is an elective, which means YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE IT! If you're going to be late every single class, and you can't even manage to make it to the test on time, the professor doesn't owe you any favors. good luck, tardy!

[He] didn't make me miserable, or anxious, or ill at ease. You know, it sounds boring, but it wasn't.

It made sense to pool our collective loathing for the opposite sex, and while we were at it, you get to share a bed with somebody at the same time. We were frightened of being left alone for the rest of our lives. Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 26, and we were of that disposition.

Both of those quotes (the title and above) are from High Fidelity (the movie, not the book- which I've yet to read, but is apparently better than the movie...*shocking*) The jist of the movie, if you've never seen it, is that John Cusack's character was just dumped and in a therapeutic way is reconnecting with his "top 5" breakups to figure out what went wrong and what it all meant. Ultimately, he realizes that his most recent girlfriend, Laura, is who he wants to be with. I'm not going to spoil the ending, in case you're planning on seeing it (which i highly recommend), but the point of my post is not to summarize a movie. And my intentions are not to review a film that is nearly 10 years old. I am going to talk about the quote i started this with (not the title) in reference to life.

Earlier today i spoke to one of my friends on the phone, I won't say who because that's not the important part (even though she is a very important person). She's been dating people for the past few years and is distressed because she still hasn't found "the one". I know that i'm obviously biased because I am coming up on 2 years with Billy, and we have discussed our long-term plans together. And in addition, a number of my friends are in committed long-term relationships. So anyway, my friend had been in a number of "serious" relationships, none of which really turned into anything and she is currently single. She's dated a bunch of people, but none of them turned into anything serious, and I'm afraid she's scaring them off. Coincidentally, she's been dating a lot of people who've just gotten out of long relationships, so most of them aren't really ready for anything serious right yet. I kind of feel like she puts the fate of her future in every guy she dates, like every single guy has the potential of being "the one". I guess it's kind of a valid argument, but at the same time I think she's subconsciously rushing these relationships to the comfort-zones that people settle into once they've been together for a while- not just 2 or 3 months.

None of my friend's (more recent) relationships have gone past the "dating" stage into the "boyfriend/girlfriend" titles, and I think they're getting scared off. She has these big plans for when she does begin dating someone that they'll date for a few years, get married at or around age 30, and then have children. I can understand where these "plans" come from, she went to college, went to grad school, got a job, so what's next? Logically, the only thing left is a relationship, picket fence, 2.5 children, etc. I think a lot of people have plans like these, I know I moreorless do, but I've also learned that things don't always happen in a distinct order and time limit...especially things that we only have partial control over. It's taking me nearly 8 years to complete my bachelors degree, and I still have a full year left! What I'm getting at is that while it's very important to set goals and limits for yourself, you have to be able to allow for some deviation when you don't have control over the outcome. What happens if you don't reach your goal? Douglas Adams couldn't have said it any better, "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by". To say that you want to be married by 30 or have 2.5 kids by 30 or to whatever by whatever age may be a good estimate for how you see your future, but you can't hold yourself to those ages because it's dependent upon other people and unforeseen circumstances that are inevitably going to come up in your future. I guess what I'm trying to say is that goals are great, but you also have to live spontaneously. Don't freak out if you're 24 and single because you're still young and have a world of opportunity ahead of you.

remember me???

I know it's been about 2 weeks since i've even shown my presence, but i really haven't posted anything substantial in a long time. I don't have a good excuse. Yeah, i've got a lot going on with school, and it was just Thanksgiving, but I've had a lot of down time.

The past couple weeks, Billy and I have been at each other's throats! I think we're over that now, but let me tell you how frustrating it was. I can absolutely attribute it to our lack of communicating during this time. Four out of five of my classes meet at night and Billy works shifts. Last week he was on nights, which meant that he was sleeping during the day time, which was the only time we were really home together. So, we weren't really just hanging out together like we usually do and most of our communicating was done via text message, which we all know is not the greatest way to talk to someone.

I have to admit, that I am also at fault for the bickering. I'm guilty. I don't know what exactly led me to feel this way, but I've been feeling very bored. I don't want to sit in and hang out at home all the time, like we've been doing. Billy gets exhausted and worn out from working shifts, so when he's home he really just wants to kick back and relax. I understand that, and I've tried to be accomodating, especially since we're not rolling around in money and going out costs money. Lately, I'm just antsy to get out. We haven't gone away together since we've been dating and sometimes it's nice to go and stay over in a hotel- not have to clean up, make the bed, cook, etc. It's nice to be taken care of, and I think I'm usually the one who is taking care of others. Don't get me wrong, Billy takes extremely good care of me, and I know that he does everything with me in mind. I guess since I'm not working, and my classes are at night that I've got all this free time and I'm getting bored, and I'm taking it out on the one person who thinks about me before he even thinks about himself.

We did talk about this, and both acknowledged what we've done or not done and I think that's a really important detail in this rambling. All couples experience frustration from one another and bicker and argue and blow things out of proportion (guilty as charged!), but it's definitely not something that's beyond the realm of control. It's probably going to happen again, but it's not worth giving up over. I'm not happy that we get into squabbles over little things, but I am glad that we always reach a resolution without having to feel like we've given in just to appease one another.