[He] didn't make me miserable, or anxious, or ill at ease. You know, it sounds boring, but it wasn't.

It made sense to pool our collective loathing for the opposite sex, and while we were at it, you get to share a bed with somebody at the same time. We were frightened of being left alone for the rest of our lives. Only people of a certain disposition are frightened of being alone for the rest of their lives at the age of 26, and we were of that disposition.

Both of those quotes (the title and above) are from High Fidelity (the movie, not the book- which I've yet to read, but is apparently better than the movie...*shocking*) The jist of the movie, if you've never seen it, is that John Cusack's character was just dumped and in a therapeutic way is reconnecting with his "top 5" breakups to figure out what went wrong and what it all meant. Ultimately, he realizes that his most recent girlfriend, Laura, is who he wants to be with. I'm not going to spoil the ending, in case you're planning on seeing it (which i highly recommend), but the point of my post is not to summarize a movie. And my intentions are not to review a film that is nearly 10 years old. I am going to talk about the quote i started this with (not the title) in reference to life.

Earlier today i spoke to one of my friends on the phone, I won't say who because that's not the important part (even though she is a very important person). She's been dating people for the past few years and is distressed because she still hasn't found "the one". I know that i'm obviously biased because I am coming up on 2 years with Billy, and we have discussed our long-term plans together. And in addition, a number of my friends are in committed long-term relationships. So anyway, my friend had been in a number of "serious" relationships, none of which really turned into anything and she is currently single. She's dated a bunch of people, but none of them turned into anything serious, and I'm afraid she's scaring them off. Coincidentally, she's been dating a lot of people who've just gotten out of long relationships, so most of them aren't really ready for anything serious right yet. I kind of feel like she puts the fate of her future in every guy she dates, like every single guy has the potential of being "the one". I guess it's kind of a valid argument, but at the same time I think she's subconsciously rushing these relationships to the comfort-zones that people settle into once they've been together for a while- not just 2 or 3 months.

None of my friend's (more recent) relationships have gone past the "dating" stage into the "boyfriend/girlfriend" titles, and I think they're getting scared off. She has these big plans for when she does begin dating someone that they'll date for a few years, get married at or around age 30, and then have children. I can understand where these "plans" come from, she went to college, went to grad school, got a job, so what's next? Logically, the only thing left is a relationship, picket fence, 2.5 children, etc. I think a lot of people have plans like these, I know I moreorless do, but I've also learned that things don't always happen in a distinct order and time limit...especially things that we only have partial control over. It's taking me nearly 8 years to complete my bachelors degree, and I still have a full year left! What I'm getting at is that while it's very important to set goals and limits for yourself, you have to be able to allow for some deviation when you don't have control over the outcome. What happens if you don't reach your goal? Douglas Adams couldn't have said it any better, "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by". To say that you want to be married by 30 or have 2.5 kids by 30 or to whatever by whatever age may be a good estimate for how you see your future, but you can't hold yourself to those ages because it's dependent upon other people and unforeseen circumstances that are inevitably going to come up in your future. I guess what I'm trying to say is that goals are great, but you also have to live spontaneously. Don't freak out if you're 24 and single because you're still young and have a world of opportunity ahead of you.